Friday, February 3, 2012

Just Casually Sliding Back In Here

Resolutions can be made at any time, right?  No reason you can't have a resolution for the last 11 months of 2012.  This is mine:

I resolve to bring it down a notch.

As has been expressed in these pages before, DH and I are nicely tucked into that sandwich generation with widowed or divorced parents in their 70s and 80s and kids still very much on the books.  Various domestic dramas play out around here as people need things from other people and do or do not succeed in getting them.  And I find myself talker faster and louder and getting more and more revved, until the MIL's ER visit on top of the Friends That Don't Want to Take Their Cat Back and the Family Member Who's Still Pissed Because I Posted His Picture on Facebook generate more angst than Arms for Hostages.  Which, incidentally, is not good for my body.  Stress is not good and the sweet treat to soothe my feelings (it works, unfortunately, whatever the literature says) is not good either.

I'm not sure what I can do about the internal dialogue, but I can moderate my physical reactions-- smile, shrug, make a joke, notice when I start talking like a cartoon character on fast forward.  I think on some level I expect people, family people, to understand that this supposed linchpin is, on the inside, not that far from the ten year old who could never find her shoes.  I can find my shoes now.  I can even find other people's shoes.  It's okay.

Hear my dulcet tones?