So: in a nutshell. I have a very pleasant, full-time, school-hours job which is nothing glamorous in the pay department, but that's okay. The transition to full time was a bit of an eye-opener, but a year in we're getting the hang of it.
My weight is Back Up. There's no getting around it. It is back up Aaaaallll The Way and has been for a couple of years. Since I have a short attention span, I have to keep remembering why I need to lose weight: I'm prediabetic. Also I have GERD. And I just got some bloodwork back that is not great though my doctor does not seem to be as bothered by it as I am. I don't need to look pretty or impress people-- nothing wrong with that, but it's not my priority. I still don't think I'm terribly piggy or bingey or food-focused, but I am too fat, unhealthy fat, so there it is.
What is the plan?
- exercise every day
- eat clean
- accept that I have to do this to stay healthy and feel decent
I have a hundred complicated beliefs and theories about food and weight loss. I read just about everything related to obesity and weight loss that has at least one foot in evidence-based science. I wish I could appear on an all weight-loss-science Jeopardy. "Dutch mouse studies for 200, Alex!" I keep thinking of that wonderful metaphor of the elephant and the rider-- there's this precariously perched rider trying to keep the elephant from charging off in the wrong direction and eating whatever it damned well wants to. I am very ready to embrace the science that says people like me (teetering on the edge of a BMI of 30) don't seem to have shorter life spans (that's a whole 'nother Jeopardy.) But I can't get around the fact that I don't FEEL good, I get sick a lot, I have chronic problems with digestion. I need to be kind to my overworked beta cells.
So I'm gonna go take another walk :)