Resolutions can be made at any time, right? No reason you can't have a resolution for the last 11 months of 2012. This is mine:
I resolve to bring it down a notch.
As has been expressed in these pages before, DH and I are nicely tucked into that sandwich generation with widowed or divorced parents in their 70s and 80s and kids still very much on the books. Various domestic dramas play out around here as people need things from other people and do or do not succeed in getting them. And I find myself talker faster and louder and getting more and more revved, until the MIL's ER visit on top of the Friends That Don't Want to Take Their Cat Back and the Family Member Who's Still Pissed Because I Posted His Picture on Facebook generate more angst than Arms for Hostages. Which, incidentally, is not good for my body. Stress is not good and the sweet treat to soothe my feelings (it works, unfortunately, whatever the literature says) is not good either.
I'm not sure what I can do about the internal dialogue, but I can moderate my physical reactions-- smile, shrug, make a joke, notice when I start talking like a cartoon character on fast forward. I think on some level I expect people, family people, to understand that this supposed linchpin is, on the inside, not that far from the ten year old who could never find her shoes. I can find my shoes now. I can even find other people's shoes. It's okay.
Hear my dulcet tones?
Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Reification
This is great.
Also great: automatic links! I don't have to get head pains trying to share something! My world is transformed.
Also great: automatic links! I don't have to get head pains trying to share something! My world is transformed.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Scale
I got on it. I'm somewhere between where I started and where I ended up. If anyone wants to play "warmer, colder" I'll do that too, but mainly I'm just relieved it's a little less than I feared and less than last time, and seems to bear some loose relationship to reducing the sugar in my diet. I was bobbing through health blogs last night, and encountered one by Hanlie where she describes getting on the scale and being taken aback by the result-- who among us can't report the same? I still have flashbacks of starving myself in the 80s to get the needle to flip from 136 to 135, and putting rocks in my pocket in 1980 so when my parents weighed my anorexic self they would be deceived by a pound or two. It is nice not to be so tied up in knots about it.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Reflection
Blogger Has Changed, probably for the better, once I get the hang of it. But it is very strange to see all this new stuff. Page views! Traffic patterns! Links! I'm good with rambling in obscurity, really. Hoping I didn't somehow link myself via Google plus with my Clark Kent persona... you'll let me know, won't you?
After watching my lecture on sugar, I have been finding it relatively easy to eat less of it. No idea whether this will show benefits on the scale, but I'm feeling empowered about it. In particular I am on the warpath about imbibing sugar via liquids, including juice, so we will see how much of a dramatic transformation that effects in self and family.
Enjoyed reading a favorite blog of old-- Gravel and Rust, have you read it? I would link but it's too damn late. Google it, okay? In one post Roxie mentions having to do work on her tendency to experience shame easily-- I find this to be true of myself, particularly when it comes to my work life. I don't know whether it's having grown up with a moderate dose of ADD or what-- my mother wasn't particularly shaming, not sure what it's about. In my case I hardly think about being paid (which is dysfunctional right there, I realize). I worry about whether I know enough or handle things correctly or provide the right kinds of feedback. I get very tense and even unhappy about it. I am hostile towards those I feel are overconfident professionally, which I suspect is partly because I envy them. I have to remind myself that my work life doesn't equal me. I could conceivably fail and go into other work and still have a happy life, it's okay.
I have other areas of shame-- certain aspects of parenting. I think of myself as lazy and sensual-- not that lazy sensuality is in every case a bad thing :), but it's like sugar, a little goes a long way. I hate the trouble I have keeping my goals/tasks from falling out of my brain, but I try not to blame myself for that one-- it's truly the way I'm wired and not a choice.
What I can do something about is indolence. I will procastinate and flubber trying to avoid the expenditure of mental or physical energy, as if it's money, something I won't get back. But that's not true, the expenditure of energy means you have more, not less. It is totally possible to overdo it, but that's not really the side I tend to have trouble with. Basically my natural tendency is to (metaphorically) skip the vegetables and nibble the candy. Probably shame is one way I overcome that inertia but I'm always open to better ones.
After watching my lecture on sugar, I have been finding it relatively easy to eat less of it. No idea whether this will show benefits on the scale, but I'm feeling empowered about it. In particular I am on the warpath about imbibing sugar via liquids, including juice, so we will see how much of a dramatic transformation that effects in self and family.
Enjoyed reading a favorite blog of old-- Gravel and Rust, have you read it? I would link but it's too damn late. Google it, okay? In one post Roxie mentions having to do work on her tendency to experience shame easily-- I find this to be true of myself, particularly when it comes to my work life. I don't know whether it's having grown up with a moderate dose of ADD or what-- my mother wasn't particularly shaming, not sure what it's about. In my case I hardly think about being paid (which is dysfunctional right there, I realize). I worry about whether I know enough or handle things correctly or provide the right kinds of feedback. I get very tense and even unhappy about it. I am hostile towards those I feel are overconfident professionally, which I suspect is partly because I envy them. I have to remind myself that my work life doesn't equal me. I could conceivably fail and go into other work and still have a happy life, it's okay.
I have other areas of shame-- certain aspects of parenting. I think of myself as lazy and sensual-- not that lazy sensuality is in every case a bad thing :), but it's like sugar, a little goes a long way. I hate the trouble I have keeping my goals/tasks from falling out of my brain, but I try not to blame myself for that one-- it's truly the way I'm wired and not a choice.
What I can do something about is indolence. I will procastinate and flubber trying to avoid the expenditure of mental or physical energy, as if it's money, something I won't get back. But that's not true, the expenditure of energy means you have more, not less. It is totally possible to overdo it, but that's not really the side I tend to have trouble with. Basically my natural tendency is to (metaphorically) skip the vegetables and nibble the candy. Probably shame is one way I overcome that inertia but I'm always open to better ones.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Give Me Some Sugar
I decided to dust off the blog (which I miss), and post an urgent message about sugar, finding that my last post last spring (cough cough) was about... well... truth is eternal, right?
I am sure the entire universe has seen Robert Lustig's lecture on youtube. I'm afraid to do a search because I probably posted it. There's an interesting rebuttal on another site, which lost some ground with me because in the comments section, where he rebutted Dr Lustig's rebuttal, I decided the fitness blogger was beating his chest (no doubt a consequence of all that testosterone. If I had a chest like that I'd beat it too.)
So what is my conclusion? That I've been eating too damn much sugar and allowing my kids to do the same (the eldest, 19, is I guess technically off my books nutritionally, but I can still raise my eyebrows). I've been "sort of" 5-factor, which means that I "sort of" fit into my clothes, except for the one pair of largish jeans I've been relying on which are springing holes in the thighs. I've been feeling not-great-ish, which is in contrast to how I feel when I eat like a grown up. Just yesterday, I justified a McDonald's ice cream cone, 3 or 6 squares of chocolate, and 2 Blow pops as "a small treat." Allow me a moment to enjoy a good belly laugh at my own expense.
The main difficulty I'm looking at now is that I love baking... the act of getting out the flour and sugar, the smells, the warmth, people's pleasure at some homey treat. It's Friday and I either bake or let my daughters bake on Friday, when we have friends dropping by to help us eat our treats. But of course, if I give up the McDonalds ice cream cones and the spoonfuls of jam straight from the jar during the week, baking on Friday doesn't have to leave my life, does it?
That's the ticket. Eat like a grown-up.
For those of you with kids: Lustig's recommendations.
Four Simple Guidelines
•Get rid of every sugared liquid in the house. Kids should drink only water and milk.
•Provide carbohydrates associated with fiber.
•Wait 20 minutes before serving second portions.
•Have kids buy their “screen time” minute-for-minute with physical activity.
Fructose is abundant in fruit. Fruit is fine, Lustig says, but we should think twice before drinking juice or feeding it to our kids.
Eating fiber also results in less carbohydrate being absorbed in the gut, Lustig notes. In addition, he says, fiber consumption allows the brain to receive a satiety signal sooner than it would otherwise, so we stop eating sooner.
Exercise burns only a modest amount of calories, Lustig notes. But it does have other benefits. Exercise improves insulin sensitivity in skeletal muscle, lowering insulin levels in the bloodstream. Exercise reduces stress and, therefore, reduces stress-induced eating, according to Lustig. Lastly, exercise increases metabolic rate.
The directive to balance active play with computer, video and TV time is the most difficult one to comply with, Lustig says. But failure to limit sugar intake appears to be the most predictive of poor weight control in children, he adds.
I am sure the entire universe has seen Robert Lustig's lecture on youtube. I'm afraid to do a search because I probably posted it. There's an interesting rebuttal on another site, which lost some ground with me because in the comments section, where he rebutted Dr Lustig's rebuttal, I decided the fitness blogger was beating his chest (no doubt a consequence of all that testosterone. If I had a chest like that I'd beat it too.)
So what is my conclusion? That I've been eating too damn much sugar and allowing my kids to do the same (the eldest, 19, is I guess technically off my books nutritionally, but I can still raise my eyebrows). I've been "sort of" 5-factor, which means that I "sort of" fit into my clothes, except for the one pair of largish jeans I've been relying on which are springing holes in the thighs. I've been feeling not-great-ish, which is in contrast to how I feel when I eat like a grown up. Just yesterday, I justified a McDonald's ice cream cone, 3 or 6 squares of chocolate, and 2 Blow pops as "a small treat." Allow me a moment to enjoy a good belly laugh at my own expense.
The main difficulty I'm looking at now is that I love baking... the act of getting out the flour and sugar, the smells, the warmth, people's pleasure at some homey treat. It's Friday and I either bake or let my daughters bake on Friday, when we have friends dropping by to help us eat our treats. But of course, if I give up the McDonalds ice cream cones and the spoonfuls of jam straight from the jar during the week, baking on Friday doesn't have to leave my life, does it?
That's the ticket. Eat like a grown-up.
For those of you with kids: Lustig's recommendations.
Four Simple Guidelines
•Get rid of every sugared liquid in the house. Kids should drink only water and milk.
•Provide carbohydrates associated with fiber.
•Wait 20 minutes before serving second portions.
•Have kids buy their “screen time” minute-for-minute with physical activity.
Fructose is abundant in fruit. Fruit is fine, Lustig says, but we should think twice before drinking juice or feeding it to our kids.
Eating fiber also results in less carbohydrate being absorbed in the gut, Lustig notes. In addition, he says, fiber consumption allows the brain to receive a satiety signal sooner than it would otherwise, so we stop eating sooner.
Exercise burns only a modest amount of calories, Lustig notes. But it does have other benefits. Exercise improves insulin sensitivity in skeletal muscle, lowering insulin levels in the bloodstream. Exercise reduces stress and, therefore, reduces stress-induced eating, according to Lustig. Lastly, exercise increases metabolic rate.
The directive to balance active play with computer, video and TV time is the most difficult one to comply with, Lustig says. But failure to limit sugar intake appears to be the most predictive of poor weight control in children, he adds.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Let Them Eat Cheese
For those of you who want to power your paranoia about sugar:
Is Sugar Toxic?
Flood waters of my first semester teaching are starting to recede around me. I've missed you all -- *mwuh mwuh*. I got on the scale yesterday, which was not as bad as I feared, though it does kind of unwind me back to-- let me check my sidebar-- July of 2009. I haven't resorted to The Other Wardrobe, which I think I boxed and put in the attic, but the current wardrobe definitely has that gaping-pocket thing going. That's okay, because I've been hoisting my weights and I have confidence the above article is going to help with cutting back on the sugar creep. For the kids too. Yikes.
Is Sugar Toxic?
Flood waters of my first semester teaching are starting to recede around me. I've missed you all -- *mwuh mwuh*. I got on the scale yesterday, which was not as bad as I feared, though it does kind of unwind me back to-- let me check my sidebar-- July of 2009. I haven't resorted to The Other Wardrobe, which I think I boxed and put in the attic, but the current wardrobe definitely has that gaping-pocket thing going. That's okay, because I've been hoisting my weights and I have confidence the above article is going to help with cutting back on the sugar creep. For the kids too. Yikes.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Blogging Helps
I took a minute to reconnect with my blog acquaintances, and it looks I am not the only one going through winter AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dark/ice/school delays/anxiety/terrible scale numbers/work/committments = yuck.
But I see I'm not the only one, so obscurely, and probably uncharitably, I feel a little bit better.
This morning my geste in the face of chaos was Eziekiel toast with butter and 2 eggs. I made tea. I haven't consumed any diet soda yet, though I feel it coming on. Last workout was Jazzed Pilates on Monday with my daughter (yay!)
I need to relax and imagine that I have time, and maybe it will magically become true :) And I need to take one minute to remember the following:
my husband
my kids
safe warm house
gainful employment
good health
my sweet father even if he is 2,000 miles away
car that works
nice bloggers who help me even when they don't realize it
friends near and far
naturally curly hair
new progressive lenses that don't make me all that sick
Today's task is to enjoy things as much as I can, relax, and find something for dinner that is warm and pleasing and not too blatantly carbolicious. Suggestions welcome :)
Dark/ice/school delays/anxiety/terrible scale numbers/work/committments = yuck.
But I see I'm not the only one, so obscurely, and probably uncharitably, I feel a little bit better.
This morning my geste in the face of chaos was Eziekiel toast with butter and 2 eggs. I made tea. I haven't consumed any diet soda yet, though I feel it coming on. Last workout was Jazzed Pilates on Monday with my daughter (yay!)
I need to relax and imagine that I have time, and maybe it will magically become true :) And I need to take one minute to remember the following:
my husband
my kids
safe warm house
gainful employment
good health
my sweet father even if he is 2,000 miles away
car that works
nice bloggers who help me even when they don't realize it
friends near and far
naturally curly hair
new progressive lenses that don't make me all that sick
Today's task is to enjoy things as much as I can, relax, and find something for dinner that is warm and pleasing and not too blatantly carbolicious. Suggestions welcome :)
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