Tuesday, June 30, 2009

NSV

I like to post; I try to keep it for my treat after I work out. Which I did. Yay me. Tap squats with 25 lbs in each hand. I have no idea if that's good, but I feel macho. Using 15 pounds for dumbbell flys. ("Flies" looks funny.) And I bought some clothes. I kept having trouble with my tummy showing in pictures-- not a good look for a mother of three whose tummy never sees the light of day-- I am Irish white, it's not a treat, believe me. You see, I have 43 inch hips and a 32 inch waist and clothes are not made that way. My 16s were dropping right off me until it finally dawned that perhaps some 14s would be a good idea. Lightbulb! I went to Avenue and tried on approximately everything in the store, ending up with a nice pair of modern fit (read: below the waist so I don't end up with a huge gap at the back of the waistband), stretch, dark blue jeans, which incidentally was the recommendation in an article I read on finding jeans for the bodaciously bootied. The Internet is a wonder! I got a pair of capris, workout shorts, this cool early '80s looking tunic thing, and a pair of black undies to match my new black bra. (I am all about the new matching underwear. I have not had matching underwear since I got one pair from Victoria's Secret when I was 22. I am like a little girl with Days of the Week underpants: so proud of myself. I insisted on showing my best friend when she came to visit. See? My undies match my bra!)

It was a nice Non Scale Victory, as the scale was not a victory this morning, after 18 thousand pounds of fresh raspberries yesterday. But I will feel good about the fact that clothing sizes don't lie, more or less, and even though the scale said 185 this morning, at any point in the last seventeen years I would have been delighted to see that number, so I'll try to hang in and not get my (matching) knickers in a twist.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Still Fat

Just checking, you know. My friend took some pictures of us, and I was surprised, not completely pleasantly. On top of that, we gathered loads of fruit and I ate too much of it, plus a few bites of cobbler which is assuredly not 5-Factor. I was pretty good about getting stuff out of the house but I was rushing around all day and did not get to my workout. It's ten o'clock and I'm calling it rest day. There will not be a good weigh-in this week, sigh. But I need to hang in. Good things have been happening with this program, and I want to keep them in my sights.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Helpity

Yesterday we made the most of cheat day. This morning I felt ugh. Passed off quickly though. The difficulty is now getting rid of the entertainment foods we made yesterday for my husband's visiting World of Warcraft guildies-- fudge sauce and stewed cherries and cherry cobbler and blue cheese. I have stuck to it today, partly because I was so pleased with my bouncy performance at Frisbee last night, but it's haaaaard. Cutting cobbler and dishing out ice cream for others deserves hardship pay. I have to get that stuff out.

Re the Frisbee, it was wild. Instead of telling my body where to go, and my body kind of considering it, then acting (or not acting), I just went. I didn't realize how much internal argument I was having during a game of Frisbee. It was great to be able to do it and even better realizing that I wasn't having to think about it, trying to propel my leaden self. I'd assumed it was age. Oops.

On the subject of compliments: I wonder if anybody else finds them a double edged sword? Mostly I enjoy them. My husband's compliments are the best. He's a psychologist, tactful by nature and training, so he just makes me feel good. I enjoy my best friend's too. My MIL's are a mixed bag. I know how critical she has been of overweight people in the past. She'll say things like, "You must weigh less than me!" (she's gained forty pounds recently) or "Now you have a waist!" I always had a waist, damn it. Not sure why I get so offended. She messes with my denial, I suppose. My father is afraid to say anything. "As long as you're healthy" is his mantra. After anorexia thirty years ago he's still terrified to say anything weight-related. When complimented I usually just say thank you and if they go on about it, I'll say it's because of my blood sugar. Because it is. Looking sleek is all very well but it's a continuum-- there will always be someone thinner and sleeker, not to mention younger with great skin and what my friend used to descriptively call French Movie Breasts. As I have had occasion to mention before, I would not go to this much trouble just to look better.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dialectic

Scene: this morning. My bathroom.

Analog scale: 180.
Me: No! That's great! Really?
Analog: Just kidding. 183.
Me: Are you sure?
Analog: 182 and a half.
Me: Are you really sure?
Analog: 182 and a half.
Digital scale: 186.8.
Me: But you said that yesterday, after lunch when the other scale said I was 186...
Digital scale: 186.8. If you step on me again, I will read 188.2.
Analog scale: 184.
Me: What happened to 180?
Analog scale: 183. Get off me. Get a life.
Me: Sigh.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Better

Digestively, though not weight-wise. I ate well, really, but I am over 40 and must be very close to homeostasis so I need to trim just a little more. I added some good cardio this week but need to do more. (Even though some weighttrainers seem to feel that cardio is a muscle-wasting fool's errand, I'm not buying it.) I suspect I should be at 1600 calories but I don't feel like doing it, so there. Do I sound defiant?

I was reading on Escape From Obesity her heartfelt post about the frustration and even grief she feels at waiting so long to get control of her body. I encounter this problem too. I am an ordinary reasonably good-looking woman-- millions like me-- but as I am sure my handsome and distinguished audience knows, an ordinary good looking girl in good shape can get a LOT of attention. Which is a mixed bag. When I put on 50 pounds with my son, I could go to the beach without being scrutinized. I always felt my body was flawed and did not really enjoy intensive attention sure to uncover said flaws. It was sort of nice to relax and not worry about it. If I could have waved a wand and shed the weight, I would have like a shot, but I enjoyed the side benefit. Buying clothes was a lot simpler too.

Now, of course, as I've started to shape up, I've started to draw eyes. Not neck-swiveling, following down the street eyes, which will never be my lot again, and that's okay really. But I'm pretty sure that people, men and women, on occasion, do check me out a bit. That or I'm making it up, but since I get to experience my own reality, who's to argue? Right? And I have to deal with some grief that I didn't do this at 28, or 35. I have this mental deadline of about 45 where you cross some kind of invisible line where only your properly-conditioned spouse finds you sexy (or at least he's too kind and also too fond of self-preservation to say otherwise). Since I'll be 43 in two months I better do some cognitive work on myself fast :)

What helps me is remembering that wanting to look pretty was not enough of a motivator. This is, after all, something of a pain in the ass. Wanting to soothe my inlaws (who are highly critical of the overweight, although my MIL has mellowed), definitely not. It's the number on the blasted glucometer. I don't want diabetes at 45. I want to beat it back valiantly for at least another ten years. It's not completely within my control-- I don't even have the classic, apple shaped diabetic body, I am a total pear-- but I am going to do my damndest not to have to be on daily meds, not to have watch my sugars in case they tank because I'm sick and I took my medicine, not to experience ulcers that won't heal and, God forbid, toes and feet and legs that have to be nipped away bit by bit. (The latter seems to happen more for the careless diabetic, but you know, I am not the most methodical person in the world.)

So that's my manifesto. I better come back here and read it when I'm flagging. Doing okay, really, as I get plenty of high-quality food. Just need to lose some more damn weight, sigh.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Ugh

Not feeling well yesterday (digestion-- trust me, you want to get to this BEFORE you blow out your gallbladder). I missed a workout, for the first time in a month. I'm going to try to fit it in early this morning, though I am somewhat hampered by teenage sleepover guests littering the room where we keep the weights. Weight wise I won't have accomplished much this week, but I have reached the profound realization that I'm eating not enough vegetables and too much other stuff (all good stuff though). Back to basics per Harley P and try to stick with the plan, which is to lose more weight (my BS still aren't below 100).

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Well That Was Interesting

Since I fixed my dad's old glucometer I've been checking my blood sugar in the mornings-- running 101, 104. The Day After (this morning) it was 113. So the diabetes education spiel I rattle off to my patients actually has merit, what d'you know.

I felt, as I usually do, that I didn't handle Cheat Day all that well. I just ate too much. I had candy and cake and Grand Marnier milkshake, plus meals. Took the day off from working out. This morning got back in the saddle (slight digestive difficulties from last night helping to nudge me). Went for a completely fabulous Appalachian Trail walk with the Best-of-Men. I didn't have to wait for tired first graders or horsing around teens, so we booked and it was a ton of fun though very muddy and squelchy. Walked about an hour. I have yet to five factor, will attend to that when digestion permits.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

And Another Cheat Day, Woot!

My husband looks GREAT. I've known him since he was 21 and he's trimmed down before, but this is the first consistent weight training he's done since college. Of course, being 6'3" and male, he's lost about 14 pounds to my about-5, but that's okay. Working out and eating the grown up stuff has a wonderful doubled effect when you're doing it together-- you get to admire your own improvements, and even better, your spouse's.

It was really hard not to jump Cheat Day on Friday. I had a bite of each of the three kinds of frozen pizza we served the kids yesterday (frozen pizza has improved). Ironically this morning it's hard to decide on which foods are decadent and wonderful enough to deserve stomach room on Cheat Day. Much like All You Can Eat Donut Day (see my post), I have rules for Cheat Day. No stuffing and no getting sick. Trying to eat on a similar schedule, enjoy my decadent food, and be mindful of when I'm full. I had a protein shake with my bagel and cheese this morning (Cheat Food!) as I feel crappy without some protein, but I really like those shakes, so that's okay. Moreover I avoid cherries and nuts and Ezekiel bread, as those are clean-eating treats I can have other days. And I don't do salads.

In other news, I had my hemoglobin tested at my OB appointment because I've been eating a lot of ice lately. Hemoglobin is 9.3, yikes (normal being around 12 and up, with transfusions given below 8). So I'm on iron twice a day. Before I found out I was anemic I was reasonably energetic. Since then I've found myself thinking, "I'm so tiiiiired, I can't do that, my hemoglobin is nine point threeeee..." I did read that a good diet and multivitamin will keep you up if you're up already, but it won't replace lost iron stores. Hopefully I'll feel some improvement over the next month or so. I've been keeping up with my workouts and trying to extend the cardio some, that being the factor I'm trying to alter in order to keep losing pounds.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Try This

I made a frittata I think it was called from Harley P's book. Four egg whites (I used one whole egg), 2-3 T chopped dried fruit (he suggested apples-- I used dates-- H.P. is hard-core), 1/3 c of oatmeal, 1 tsp cinnamon. I cooked it up in a small skillet and it was delicious and also quite filling.

Do not try this silly scale watching habit I've acquired. I actually have two scales in my bathroom and I spend 5 minutes a morning negotiating with them. I got readings anywhere from 182 to 184 (my persuadable analog scale) to 188.6 on the digital scale, which was very insistent on that number until I moved it a few inches and then it was adamant that I'm 186.4. It is embarrassing to even admit this. If I ever post a picture I will be hiding my face in shame. Not about my weight, though I don't advertise that either. Just this whole foolish scaling business.

Yesterday was rest day but I did do about 30 minutes of elliptical "walking" while watching Sleeper on my laptop. Haven't seen it in years but I still get a giggle out of the giant fruit.

Today marks the start of Week Four, which means we only have 2 weeks left. We think we're going to break for a week or two (keeping up the workouts) and then start another cycle.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

At Ease

I did my workout. But I didn't calculate my calories. I was getting that rigid, angry, fighting-with-my-body feeling from my teenage years. Had to remind myself that my body and I are more or less friends. We need to be nice to each other.

Really truly I am not one of those I-am-so-gross women. I probably have a positively skewed body image (I'm an optimist, mostly.) I look at myself naked all the time and it's usually with admiration :) Vanity is not enough to make me go to this kind of effort, partly because a size 16, while bigger than average, is not big enough to keep me out of regular stores or from hiking with my kids or going on amusement park rides or appearing publically in a bathing suit. I have an affectionate spouse who doesn't seem to object to the view. And I'm nervous about weight-cycling, all reasons not to diet. But there's that pesky blood sugar. I feel strongly about that. I read that exercise and better diet work better than Metformin, so I'm looking at my daily 25-50 minutes of exercise as my Metformin capsule. Not necessarily fun but I'm going to swallow it down.

Eating very well and exercising daily are not too much trouble only if they work, of course. I was pretty discouraged yesterday. I stuck to my resolution and did an additional 15 minutes or so on the elliptical at a good clip, HR around 140, and did not count calories, figuring that would let me out of the conundrum of whether I was eating too many or too few (either of which is believed to interfere with fat loss-- talk about crazy-making). The 5-Factor does not require you to count so that's okay too. (Even if I do eat Go-Lean CRUNCH.) This morning-- tada--

1. My blood sugar was 101! (I wonder if anyone else out there is obsessing about their FBS more than their weight).
2. My weight was 183. On average. I have this analog scale. I hate the digital scale, we got it so my husband can see it. My analog scale is probably a good 3 lbs light but I don't care. Depending on how carefully you step on it you can get a lower or higher number within 2 or 3 pounds. But every morning I step on it very, very carefully, several times, and come up with a kind of internal consensus. It's great! No cold, hard balance scale pronouncing an inescapable truth! I prefer truths with a little wiggle room.

So far today the plan is to eat 5-Factor (this will be week four... huh) and take that fabled walk on the Appalachian Trail or some other sort of brisk prolonged cardio, although walking with seven year olds is not that consistently aerobic. Lots of dawdling (I'm thirsty! I'm tired! I'm bored!) interspersed with racing and/or carrying said child. I could play some basketball with my older daughter. I don't mind getting creamed. And I'm going to try to stay away from the fitness articles, which mess with my magnetic north. ("Cardio To Lose Fat!" "Cardio Doesn't Work!" "Weight Training Burns Fat!" "No, It Doesn't!" "Trying To Lose Fat At All is a Colossal Mistake Imposed by the Patriarchy! Embrace Your Fat Because You're Doomed Anyway!")

I'll just slink away and make a nice protein shake with a tablespoon of genuine, non-5-Factor sugar in it.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

____________.

I am feeling blank and discouraged. To wit:

1. It's cloudy outside.
2. My son's girlfriend booted him and is cavorting happily with her new love all over Facebook. I have to decide whether or not to unfriend her. This is where I turn into Godzilla mom and wonder, why is it other people can't raise teenagers who know how to be decent?
3. I got a battery for my dad's old glucometer and checked my fasting blood sugar. It is the same as last year-- 106.
4. My weight is the same, same, same, same. It's hard not to ask myself why I should go off my previous free-wheeling 2300-2400 calories a day and lots of bread and treats, and be careful and disciplined and high protein and vegetably, to stay the same weight for-- quick check-- roughly 17 days. I have to assume my body's decided it does just fine on 1800 calories minus whatever I'm burning off in exercise.

I did not manage to extend the cardio portion yesterday. I have a rammy seven year old on summer break and a 17 year old coping with his first aborted romance and a 13 year old who is always calm, helpful, kind, and efficient, but does appreciate a little attention now and then. I also have plantar fascitis and I'm pissed off. I think an extra 25 minutes was too ambitious. Maybe I can commit to an extra ten.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Tom Venuto

thinks I should shake up my program without delay if I'm plateauing. Which I am suspicious that I may be, though it seems rather early. I've weighed the same for 2 weeks and I've only been at this three, geez. Eating less does not appeal (I'm at around 1700-1800 calories per the The Daily Plate) so I am going to try to add more workout time in the form of cardio. I am a victim of Too Much Reading so I'm afraid this might mess with my beautiful new muscles, but it is an accepted part of Oracle (Five-Factor) so we'll just boldly stride ahead. This week I am going to try to do an additional 25 minutes of cardio on my workout days. There, I said it. I'd rather do that than eat more vegetables.

I want to add I'm not feeling too terribly stuck, as I've noticed nice gains in how I look and feel. And the scale is down. But I want to keep that little needle moving in the right direction, even if it is slooooowly.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Day After

Cheat Day. Man, I felt messed up at around 6 this morning. Some sort of wacky blood sugar thing, probably to be expected after 6 pinwheel cookies, bagel, pizza, etc yesterday. I felt guilty about those pinwheel cookies (I would link a picture, but am afraid it would be Triggering. To me, if nobody else.) This morning of course the scale was down a hair. I'm being moderately scientific here, logging calories and all the rest of it, but metabolism is an inexact process and it is all sort of bewildering. For one thing, I am so HOT. I mean temperature wise. Last night I had to abandon my husband, when sleeping next to him is one of the nicer parts of life, and seek out the guest bed and its cool sheets away from his inferno-level body heat. I am also terribly sleepy today. Don't know if that's a sunny summer Sunday or the result of too much marshmallow filling and chocolate coating from yesterday.

Anyway, back to eatin' clean-- if you count Go Lean Crunch. Can you count Go Lean Crunch? I suspect it's a little too sweet and carb-o-licious. I thought I saw Harley P. standing in front of a box on a clip from the Today Show. It may have been plain old Go Lean, which is pretty much eating twigs. I don't get hungry enough to eat that stuff.

Small triumph: BP was 115/72 today. I've been up in the 130s/140s systolically in the past, so I am always tickled to see this.

*PS I just checked. It was, sadly, Go Lean. I'll pretend I didn't see that.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Cheat Day!

Though I'm feeling I haven't quite earned it. I've been eating well all week and doing my workouts, progress has been made, but the scale is still bouncing around the same number (184-185). I weigh the same as I did last week. Sigh. I'm eating around 1800 cals which is comfortable but maybe a little too much. TODAY, of course, sky's the limit. Maybe a long walk on the Appalachian Trail today...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Eat Food

Suffering from Health and Nutrition overload here. Makes me feel like joining some 19th century cult based on Graham Flour and the preservation of Vital Essences. (Oooh... graham crackers and milk... no no. Don't have any anyway). I am going to go with my personal belief, unavoidably shaped by my wary relationship with vegetables. People adapt to eating almost anything, whether it's whale blubber, insects or Twinkies. Some things seem to work better than others, ie spinach vs Swedish Fish. If I'm going to start freaking out about too much dairy (Fage and a cup of skim milk every day) or not enough protein (oatmeal and fruit this morning) or too much fruit, or too much meat, or I shouldn't be eating beans, I am going to chuck it all and go back to cheese quesadillas. Which combined with three pregnancies are hell on the gallbladder, right? Right. Go with what we know.

I guess my fear of food is sharpened by the fact that my mom died at 50 of Non-Hodgekin's Lymphoma. She just burned up in six months like a dry twig. I don't know what went wrong. I do know her immune system was failing before that-- thyroid gone, then asthma, prednisone, bone breaks, then the NHL. I don't know if diet had anything to do with it but I have a hostile fascination with "Cure Yourself By Food" programs. They're so very sure of themselves, and so very hostile towards the others. The Eat to Live guy is positive venomous towards the South Beach Diet, which at bottom is what I think of as a decent whole foods diet with a strong emphasis on vegetables. Ah well-- I think I like Michael Pollan best: Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Rest Day

I try to post after my workout but today is Rest Day so I can post whenever I please. It strikes me that we are getting into the meat of the matter here. Well, my meat, the nice pricey fat-marbled kind. (Eww. I retract that analogy.) The first two weeks I dropped 3-5 lbs, depending on how you count, like snap. This is the start of week three and nothing thrilling is going on in the scale department. Nice things have happened with my measurements, to wit:

Chest: didn't measure that, we'll assume what we like
Arm: same (13")
Waist: aha! 32.5
Hip: 44.5
Thigh: 27.5 which for me is a big deal

Now is the part where you slog on through with your berries and your Fage yogurt and your spinach-with-vinaigrette, unsung, unrewarded, until hopefully a whole slab slides off ala Dietgirl:
(Now where did I put that link.... here it is: http://www.dietgirl.org/dietgirl/2007/09/the-great-wall.html).

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Unresearched Opinions

Aren't they great? I have lots. Especially in opposition to ideas which bug me, such as the Primarian Diet, which as I understand it, is meat, veg and fruit with little to no grains. The argument being that we evolved as hunters and didn't eat starches-- am I right? Guess I should research that too, but that's my hazy understanding of it-- I was too busy trying it on for myself and then rejecting it hastily to grasp the whole concept.

However:

"No reasonable energy source was ignored, and wild seeds were no exception. Indeed, grindstones with adherent plant starch from before 160,000 years ago - when the first recognisably modern humans appear in the fossil record - may have been used to grind grass seeds ." [reliable sounding internet resource]

Even if we don't go back that far, we've been eating grains in one form or another for thousands of years. And evolution doesn't have to take that long. For example, how quickly are young guys who can't pull themselves away from World of Warcraft long enough to watch a movie with their girlfriends going to get eliminated from the gene pool? I think it's going to be like those moths that stood out white on the factory-smoke-blackened tree trunks-- stunning evolution in a very short time indeed.

It's confusing. The healthiest diets statistically seem to be plant-based ones-- and yet we diligent fat-shedders stick to high protein (meat and dairy and their derivatives), fruit, chewy sprouted bread and as many vegetables as we can coaxe ourselves to eat-- which in my case is one salad plus maybe some carrots or artichoke hearts. I know, I know.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Difficult

I ran into a post on Escape From Obesity about how the writer's doctor jotted down "start walking 30 minutes" and "drink 8 glasses of water" on her d/c instructions for an unrelated visit. The blogger wasn't especially offended, although she's already exercising quite a bit more than that and drinks vast amounts of water. She linked to another experience where the blogger appears to be quite a jock though presumably not a small one. The doctor refused to believe she was doing as much exercise as she claimed: "You'd be a lot smaller."

I've run into this before on the Net-- not so much in real life, as people are more cagey in talking about such matters. I've heard (usually self-assured types) declare that staying trim is a matter of determination. If you're not lazy, you won't get fat. If you are fat, it's because you're not doing the right things. "No one's fat in a concentration camp." End of story.

The problem being, many of us know someone who survives on a can of tuna and a 2 mile treadmill walk daily to lose weight at an agonizingly slow pace. Many people who are obese eat terrible food and avoid exercise. But some eat really well, or at least as well as their slimmer friends, and exercise a lot, and they're still fat. Waxing judgemental about someone's body fat should be Right Out.

Still... being overfat is unhealthy. It can be deadly. I've never had a doctor talk about my weight except for my first ob/gyn, who ended up in jail (another story). He felt I was gaining too fast and put me on 1800 calorie diet. His bedside manner was unfortunate, but at least he tried. That was the last time anybody ever addressed my weight even though I have bounced around the 29-30 BMI mark and suffered gall stones and elevated blood sugar. They assumed, correctly, that I knew what to do. Talking about weight is so painful for so many people, and there is so little time in an average doctor visit. What doctor is in a hurry to say something potentially offensive to a patient? And yet the upshot is there's a whole host of obesity-linked diseases-- heart disease, diabetes, vascular disease-- with all their evil tentacles, and current scientific knowledge seems to suggest that if we got away from the pancakes and hot dogs, and onto the fresh whole foods, so much could be avoided or postponed. If there was a good way for health pros to raise the subject-- maybe with questions-- "Are you engaged on an exercise program? Tell me about what you ate for breakfast," "doctor's orders" could be motivating and powerful.

Well, on to other subjects. Neither Spouse nor I has missed a workout, except I gave myself a pass on colonscopy day and if anybody's going to question THAT, I will personally deliver them 64 ounces of Trilytly to enjoy with my compliments. We will be at 2 weeks on Wednesday. Spouse can't read the tiny numbers on the scale (bad eyes) so I bought a Taylor digital one and the damn battery was no good. So he's probably shrinking drastically in that annoying way men have but I don't have to get all competitive about it. I am down some pounds and feel sleeker. Better still my body feels more South-Beachy and is not begging for licorice nibs. When my dad brings his glucometer I will check to see if I've managed to get my fasting sugar below 100. My 10% goal if you go from my weight last fall would be 195-19.5= 175.5, or only ten pounds, yay! Or I could go from the start of this effort, 190-19=171. Probably should aim for the latter. Aim high, you won't shoot yourself in the foot, etc.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Limbic System

That's the part of the brain I talked about in the last post, per spouse. Mine is a bit riled because of some posting on the Livestrong Boards.

"OMG this totally sounds like this ass that I work with... I don't think he's retarded or has a mental disability but he lacks basic social skills. He interrupts conversations and does exactly the same things you mentioned in your post. Everything is about him all the time. He doesn't notice subtle hints when people are irritated with him so you basically have to tell him to back off directly to his face for him to get the point - and even then, he's such an idiot that he needs to be told several times this before he gets the message."

Great description of Asperger's and an even better illustration of the amount of tolerance it meets with among the.... well, anyway.

Update for today:

1. Tomorrow is Cheat Day, coinciding with the fifth annual All You Can Eat Donut Day, with the usual caveats of Eat Slow, This is Not a Contest, and Do Not Get Sick. My theory is once a year children should get all the donuts they want.
2. My guts are still gurgling and burbling and twisting and protesting from that damned prep. A low residue diet would have been good but Eating Clean is anything but that.
3. My weight was lower this morning than it's been since I was pregnant with my first, 18 years ago. How about that?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Hey...

I didn't sign up for the "bra shrinkage" portion of the 5-Factor Program.  Harley neglected to mention that in the book.  Went shopping and bought a black T shirt and a black bra to go with.  (Like anyone would notice a white bra and be outraged, but I wanted one, so there.) I furtively requested the help of the nice fit lady and she pointed out that my D cups were wrinkling on the top.  "I'll get you a C!"  Heeeeyyy...  Took me a bit to remind myself that I am doing this for my HEALTH, for my abnormal BLOOD SUGAR, and not for my bodaciousness.  I am assuming that my breasts won't disappear all together, right?  Right.  Meanwhile I am back on track after my Nasty Procedure and five-F'd this morning.  (Which F's you might ask-- wasn't there some way of flunking out of the army in WW2 known as a 4-f'd?  And there's that part of the brain that regulates F behavior, feeding, fighting, fleeing, and getting Friendly.  I will have to ask the DH which brain part that is.  I want my blog to be educational.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Yay!

That's over with it. It was awful. Not the test, but the prep solution which awful in so many ways, about 50% because of the gagging and retching, 30% being so wimpy when so many fragile old ladies chug it down, and 20% because I was afraid they couldn't do the test and it would be all to do over again. But they did, all appears well, and I don't have to do it again for ten years. Yay in triplicate.

I had other things to be happy with. My BP was 122/72, which has not always been the case. Resting pulse was respectable at 72. Weight was down six pounds from the last time a dr's office weighed me. But most of all, the sugar bouncer in my cells seems to have been subdued by five-factoring and I got through the clear liquids day without headaches or undue hunger.

I am going to semi-5-F today. I think I may give myself an extra day off this week, unless I feel very bouncy by evening. Now off to bed. Let's hope I don't dream about prep.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Erg

Colonoscopy prep.  Magnesium citrate.  Sugar water all day.  Gallons of sweet-tasting bilge and I've only downed the first glass.  Tomorrow I can't wait to tuck into a nice bowl of bean soup and a piece of Ezekial toast.  (Almost wrote "bowel of soup".  Save me.)  Needless to say, no 5-factoring.  I did better than I feared (so far) on the jello and popsicles today-- maybe I am just a little less insulin resistant and crashy.  

Monday, June 1, 2009

Lingerie Shopping

I decided I needed some matching, moderately alluring underwear.  I went to Avenue and tried on some things and decided what I needed more than underwear was to not spend money on things that may or may not fit well in 4 weeks.  I did buy this great skirt with an elastic waist that fits my backside and waist at the same time, not an easy accomplishment.  I am in the 14 at Avenue.  If I do shrink more, I'll miss it.  I like having a moderate number of choices.  It gets very confusing down there in those 10s and 12s.  Besides, the 14 at Avenue is the freakishly tiny size that nobody buys, so there's great sale stuff.  Ah well, bourgeouis suffering.  There was this dress... bare arms, though.  Natch.  I want Michelle Obama arms.  By now you can probably Google her trainer's tell all book.

I five factored early.  Tomorrow is going to be unpleasant.  I have to consume nothing but clear liquids prior all day to a Certain Medical Procedure which is the fate of the over-40 set.  I also have to work and have no control over my schedule so it could get ugly.  Ah well.  I plan to make that my rest day and if I am not totally incapacitated by the CMP I will 5-factor tomorrow, though I think for a colono--- Certain Medical Procedure you are entitled to an extra rest day.  At least.