Sunday, September 17, 2017

My Screen is Cracked

My phone dropped out of my purse at the gas station. I have a cute, not very protective case I bought at Cath Kidston in Bath,  a nice reminder of our overseas trip.  But I knew in the back of my mind it wasn't tough enough and sure 'nuff, my screen is madly crazed. And it really bothered me at first, because it meant disorder and ill luck and poor planning and poverty (I don't want to spend the $$ right now). Then I started getting used to it, as in, well, I don't have to worry about that anymore! (Mind you I could still drop it in the toilet, as happened with my last phone). And I am wondering if there is an analogy to obesity in here somewhere. It's already cracked, right?  So if I screw up, it's no worse. Those bothered, upset feelings are receding, and I'm accepting the situation.

Our natural tendency is, scientists tell us, is to revert to baseline happiness. So whether you win the lottery or lose a leg, a year later, you're about as happy as you were before. Mostly I think this is absolutely wonderful. I have found it helpful in decision making, helping me move through Optimizer's Paralysis.  I will get so used to this cracked screen I'll accept it as normal and push on.

Except I'm not really, and I'm getting the damn screen fixed as soon as we pay the IRS the money they unexpectedly demanded.  The screen is not beyond my resources to fix, and while I'm not sure it directly impacts my happiness much, it does have an effect on my quality of life.  They key thing-- not beyond my resources to fix. So, okay, my analogy is falling apart, but the point is: the initial alarm and dismay I felt when the baby weight did not come off faded a long time ago. And I'm pretty sure that a BMI of 22 is beyond what I can manage with the changes I'm willing to make. Fair enough. But am I really meeting a reasonable standard, for a middle aged woman in good health with reasonably good resources of time and energy (even if my screen is cracked)?  Can I look at each day and say, that was a decent effort? What does a decent effort look like? 

To me-- 3 meals a day of 80% whole food. Not much sugar. 1/2 hour of fairly vigorous exercise. 

Fair 'nuff.

Notes:

1. Still NoS-ing.  I have a couple of mods-- I avoid snacking every day and I am not as strict with sweets, though I reserve baking for the weekends.  My N days don't look too different from my S days. I haven't been plating my meals dependably. Two things that might prove to be part of a Reasonable Effort.
2. My A1C was only 5.5, which is normal, woo-hoo. I credit No S and what I believe is the improvement in insulin regulation.
3. I didn't train really for the half. My husband decided not to do it which is probably wise, as he would have crippled himself finishing. I walked ten miles and got one of the nice young men to drive me back to the finish line in a cart.  Could barely lift my left leg for 24 hours but no permanent after effects. Many of the finishers had BMIs higher than mine. Inspiring.

No comments:

Post a Comment