Sunday, June 28, 2009

Helpity

Yesterday we made the most of cheat day. This morning I felt ugh. Passed off quickly though. The difficulty is now getting rid of the entertainment foods we made yesterday for my husband's visiting World of Warcraft guildies-- fudge sauce and stewed cherries and cherry cobbler and blue cheese. I have stuck to it today, partly because I was so pleased with my bouncy performance at Frisbee last night, but it's haaaaard. Cutting cobbler and dishing out ice cream for others deserves hardship pay. I have to get that stuff out.

Re the Frisbee, it was wild. Instead of telling my body where to go, and my body kind of considering it, then acting (or not acting), I just went. I didn't realize how much internal argument I was having during a game of Frisbee. It was great to be able to do it and even better realizing that I wasn't having to think about it, trying to propel my leaden self. I'd assumed it was age. Oops.

On the subject of compliments: I wonder if anybody else finds them a double edged sword? Mostly I enjoy them. My husband's compliments are the best. He's a psychologist, tactful by nature and training, so he just makes me feel good. I enjoy my best friend's too. My MIL's are a mixed bag. I know how critical she has been of overweight people in the past. She'll say things like, "You must weigh less than me!" (she's gained forty pounds recently) or "Now you have a waist!" I always had a waist, damn it. Not sure why I get so offended. She messes with my denial, I suppose. My father is afraid to say anything. "As long as you're healthy" is his mantra. After anorexia thirty years ago he's still terrified to say anything weight-related. When complimented I usually just say thank you and if they go on about it, I'll say it's because of my blood sugar. Because it is. Looking sleek is all very well but it's a continuum-- there will always be someone thinner and sleeker, not to mention younger with great skin and what my friend used to descriptively call French Movie Breasts. As I have had occasion to mention before, I would not go to this much trouble just to look better.

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