Monday, November 9, 2009

Demotivational Poster

What motivates you?




(Sorry. That just cracks me up.)

There was a great post a while back by the wonderful Foody McBody, which post I cannot find in her archives, but who could have been speaking for me. Basically stating that losing weight for cosmetic reasons is a mixed bag for some of us. I was rather irritated about it myself, in perhaps a not very mature way. I didn't see why a zaftig BMI-of-29 woman couldn't be considered attractive (even if I didn't like what I saw in pictures-- I was pretty good at editing what I saw in the mirror.) Blood sugar doesn't lie, squinting at a glucometer doesn't help any, and diabetes doesn't care whether you look ok in Spanx. So when I had to for health reasons, I managed to pull it together and do what I should have done ten years ago. (I might have saved my gall bladder, for one thing.) My blood sugars are responding, a bunch of aches and pains have disappeared, and it's all good.

Except the whole looking good thing is still problematic. I would love to hear from other 40-something women how they manage midlife + getting in shape. When I get checked out, I can't help but think, "Oh geez, I'm 43, how many more years can this possibly last?" Which is unhelpful, to say the least. I wish I could say that I had some great philosophical tool to battle my regret. The only thing that seems to help is reminding myself that those eighteen years were for the most part lovely ones, I have had the joy of a happy marriage with (yay!) all the trimmings, and I certainly looked perfectly all right much of the time, at least once I got past my weeble period. But I guess it is okay to mourn a little bit that I was not able to pull this out sooner-- and it was not for lack of taking it seriously, or trying. I wasn't any more lazy or greedy than I am now: I certainly knew plenty about health and nutrition. It was just that at the time, the risks were theoretical and not actual, and looking good wasn't a keen enough motivator.

In other news, I went back to work today. I'll be settling down to 10-15 hours a week, but today was all day in a conference room. AND lunch at Friendly's, where my new boss kindly took me. I scrutinized the menu, but there is NOTHING TO EAT at Friendly's if you are trying eat halfway healthy. I ended up having chicken with bacon and cheese on it (!) and mixed vegetables, leaving the rice and garlic bread it came with. I had a lonely diet pepsi while my coworkers were enjoying sundaes. But I had some dark chocolate in the car, so don't feel too sorry for me :) I 5-factored at home because I needed it (all that sitting). It's going to be a hellish busy week. Wish me luck.

8 comments:

  1. I have regrets. I don't talk about it a lot, but I grieve for not being able to have the figure I could have had if I hadn't let myself get to 305 pounds. But after I feel sorry for myself a while I, like you, try and focus on all the really great things in my life.

    You have done a great job, and having a solid marriage is truly a blessing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I MUST find a Zumba class near me....you have me addicted and I have never even been to one...nor am I at ALL dance-inclined and I would likely look like a big dork. But, it sounds like such a blast!

    I am 42. I totally hear what you are saying in this post. I DO want to look better, but I think, a this point, that "feeling better" is maybe one rung up on my priority ladder. And...."be stronger" is above the "look better" thing, too. And..."live longer", too.

    Taking 60-something pounds off of me has had a couple not-so-good cosmetic effect. I think my face looks a tiny bit more wrinkly maybe....not as "plumped up". But...honestly.....it is not bugging me one whit because I only have one chin now.....and that rocks! I also have visible biceps (I mean...nothing crazy or anything...but some tone at least). I like that part. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good luck!

    And by the way, 20,000 words so far for NaNoWriMo is awesome! I'm at a bit over 16,000 so far. Is your user name the same there as here?

    Can I add you to our weekly tally on my writing blog? (There are going to be prizes for some if I can swing it financially.) http://imaginecreatewrite.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. First of all, I think you are being entirely too hard on yourself as far as your appearance goes. It has been a while since I remember seeing a picture on here, but if memory serves me right, I think your are a very attractive lady. That being said, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your physical condition and appearance. I have said it before, and I am sure I will say it again, I don't think our appearance is a big enough motivator for most of us to stick with it though. Health usually is, but not appearance. Of course, we are all different. For me, health was the thing that kicked my butt in gear. Am I pleased that my appearance is improving? You betcha! Is it a motivator for me? Yep! It is not what drives me though.

    Keep up the good work Larkspur - you are doing great!

    ReplyDelete
  5. when I was younger, appearance was the motivation, and I did some destructive diets to get there. I even began to binge from guilt for not being able to stay on those diets. I stopped when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I'd rather be overweight than bulimic.

    My husband tried to pressure me into losing weight. It would work for a while, but when I would be upset with him, I'd begin to binge, again.

    Now, almost 41, my health is on the line, and that is a motivator. I hope it is enough of one to see me through the sugar addiction.

    I proud of you for passing on the rice and bread. I'll think of you when I'm faced with that dilemma.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Gina, it's a truism, but it does feel like you can't lose weight for anybody but yourself. My husband was very careful about saying anything. In fact, he's afraid to say anything NOW because I tend to worry that means he didn't like me BEFORE. Poor man.

    Personally I couldn't do much of anything until I got off the carb-cravy-wagon, which I did by going with mostly whole food carbs and not too much of those. Cheat day is also crucial, so one day a week I can have any damn thing I want and slurp it up more or less greedily and not worry about it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm 40, and I wish I would have done this 10 years ago, or more. I feel like I have so few years left that I'll actually be "cute", which you are right, is not helpful thinking. It's almost completely cosmetic for me, though my knee was starting to hurt, and other health effects were starting. I've always been an exerciser, so not blood sugar issues or anything, just body is too big issues.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's funny about your husband being cautious about saying anything...I had a similar conversation with Danny.

    Cheat day...good idea. I'll tell my husband, "Dear, I think we should have a 'cheat day.'" I wonder what'll be crossing his mind... :-P

    ReplyDelete