What motivates you?
(Sorry. That just cracks me up.)
There was a great post a while back by the wonderful Foody McBody, which post I cannot find in her archives, but who could have been speaking for me. Basically stating that losing weight for cosmetic reasons is a mixed bag for some of us. I was rather irritated about it myself, in perhaps a not very mature way. I didn't see why a zaftig BMI-of-29 woman couldn't be considered attractive (even if I didn't like what I saw in pictures-- I was pretty good at editing what I saw in the mirror.) Blood sugar doesn't lie, squinting at a glucometer doesn't help any, and diabetes doesn't care whether you look ok in Spanx. So when I had to for health reasons, I managed to pull it together and do what I should have done ten years ago. (I might have saved my gall bladder, for one thing.) My blood sugars are responding, a bunch of aches and pains have disappeared, and it's all good.
Except the whole looking good thing is still problematic. I would love to hear from other 40-something women how they manage midlife + getting in shape. When I get checked out, I can't help but think, "Oh geez, I'm 43, how many more years can this possibly last?" Which is unhelpful, to say the least. I wish I could say that I had some great philosophical tool to battle my regret. The only thing that seems to help is reminding myself that those eighteen years were for the most part lovely ones, I have had the joy of a happy marriage with (yay!) all the trimmings, and I certainly looked perfectly all right much of the time, at least once I got past my weeble period. But I guess it is okay to mourn a little bit that I was not able to pull this out sooner-- and it was not for lack of taking it seriously, or trying. I wasn't any more lazy or greedy than I am now: I certainly knew plenty about health and nutrition. It was just that at the time, the risks were theoretical and not actual, and looking good wasn't a keen enough motivator.
In other news, I went back to work today. I'll be settling down to 10-15 hours a week, but today was all day in a conference room. AND lunch at Friendly's, where my new boss kindly took me. I scrutinized the menu, but there is NOTHING TO EAT at Friendly's if you are trying eat halfway healthy. I ended up having chicken with bacon and cheese on it (!) and mixed vegetables, leaving the rice and garlic bread it came with. I had a lonely diet pepsi while my coworkers were enjoying sundaes. But I had some dark chocolate in the car, so don't feel too sorry for me :) I 5-factored at home because I needed it (all that sitting). It's going to be a hellish busy week. Wish me luck.