Friday, November 6, 2009

I Like 'Em Chunky

I absolutely adore this song. We play it in Zumba while doing indescribable things that are very good for your abdominals and lower back. I just so love the idea of a woman being celebrated for taking up space.

It's FRIDAY. I get to sit by the fire near my sweetie and work on my book-in-a-month project. We have three extra teens on the premises which means we have achieved critical mass and they will amuse themselves, noisily.

On the subject of chunky, or not so chunky, I have this probably strange mental phenomenon that keeps reappearing. Ever since I was a little girl I imagined another girl just like me, who did things correctly. Who was never late getting ready for school and did all her homework properly. I still feel like that person is with me. She never got fat-- I bet her mother probably didn't die either-- though she is aging along with me, raising children, keeping house. Once in a rare while my life intersects with hers and I have a moment that is exactly right, the way it should be. I might be fixing an after-school snack or washing dishes, but for one instant the idealized me and the actual me are one and the same. And it feels so sweet, I can't describe it. It's funny because I don't expect or necessarily even want to be perfect. I enjoy most of my messy and semi-chaotic life. But it does feel satisfying to live closer to that mysterious "right" version of myself.

Who, by the way, is going to stay out of the cookies her daughter is making until the stroke of midnight-- CHEAT DAY.

New measurements today:

hip-- 42
bust-- present and accounted for
waist-- 31 or 30 if you go for the absolute skinniest possible point while exhaling
thigh-- 25.5 ish (woot)
arm-- 11.5 (also woot)

Happy Weekend, my dears.

9 comments:

  1. The story about the "right" version of yourself is so beautiful...and deep. You know, I wish I had something like that. Through these many years I've grown disconnected from myself...any kind of version. A long time ago, I tried writing with my non-dominant hand. I was told to imagine the "inner-child" in me was writing back. I would write a question with my dominant hand as an adult, and "she" would write back in my non-dom. hand. That was a powerful experience, and one I guess I buried...until now. Something about your post just brought me back to that.

    btw I enjoyed the song. It got me bouncing and head-grooving in my sick-bead.

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  2. Hope the cookies are awesome. Love that you are closer to being the "right" version of you.

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  3. OMG... I just found your blog and the song Chunky is too funny. It's my favorite part of Madagasgar 2.

    Great blog.

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  4. Larkspur, you are the right version, right now. Chaotic, semi-messy, and all the rest of you - even those times that miss idealized Larkspur meets up with you, you are the right version.

    Make it a great day!

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  5. The imperfections is what makes us real and interesting. The song is very fun I should suggest it to my Zumba instructor.

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  6. I'm giggling as I listen to this song. I love it! I can totally picture Moto-Moto in Madagascar 2. LOL!!

    I also giggle when I saw "present and accounted for" next to bust measurements. :)

    I have that ideal me also and I think she's only there to give me some idea of what I can work on to better myself. Just have to be careful I don't hate myself if I'm not that ideal person...

    Have a great rest of your weekend!

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  7. "Once in a rare while my life intersects with hers and I have a moment that is exactly right, the way it should be."

    I do that.. I always feel it when I leave the gym or when I'm grocery shopping. I buy things that the "right" me would. I picture the "right" me at the checkout line.. not the 220-lb. me.

    (Sorry for the random post. I came across your blog randomly and have been lurking for awhile!)

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  8. Such great comments, guys. I really appreciate your thoughts.

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  9. I love your blog, congrats on the weight loss!! Ooh, and that song is great, lol, you have me dancin' in my desk chair! ;)

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