Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Lit Review

Isn't that what you do before a big paper? What have previous authors said on this subject? Well, my diet history is respectably lengthy, going back to the age of 12 with a successful attempt at Weight Watchers followed by an even more successful attempt at anorexia, where I weighed 105 lbs at 5'-almost-8". I remember meeting a recovered anorexic at a party around that age. At the time I had no butt at all-- it hurt to sit-- and she had the largest butt I had seen on any human. I remember fearfully hoping I would not end up with a butt like that.


I didn't quite, although I regained my 20 lbs and struggled with it and a few more until I finally came to terms with myself in my early 20s. I was 145 on my wedding day which I considered a normal weight and still do. Unfortunately, after post-marital blimp-out, the death of my mother and a not-quite-planned-for pregnancy in the first year of marriage, I wound up at 195 after the birth of my son. Which didn't come off. Ever. I nursed him, exercised, ate whole foods, etc, but also ate a lot of high fat stuff and sweets. At times I have dipped down to 185 but no lower.


I admit I think it's a modest triumph I didn't gain any more over time, which I attribute (maybe wrongly) to not undertaking severe diets. If you were to look at my diet bibliography you'd find South Beach, a smattering of Weight Watchers, "clean eating," etc, but you won't find the Cabbage Soup Diet or Atkin's or the like. Mostly I've been pretty serene about my weight-- with occasional moments of dismay, such as trying on clothes with friends and thinking I would be so much prettier if I just lost 20 pounds... I remember fighting with my body and hating myself in my teens, and I don't ever want to go back there again. I'm not going to go into fits over every morsel, and I'm afraid of weight-cycling, which I suspect is bad for the immune system.


On the other hand... My gallbladder was a mess and had to be taken out. I'm still prone to bile duct stones. I have endometrial polyps which are caused by excess floating estrogen which in turn is caused by-- wait for it-- obesity. Most alarming, my fasting blood sugars have been around 105 for the last couple of years, my father is a type 2 diabetic, and as sure as night follows day I will be too unless I reduce the amount of fat on my body.


So I'm launching my public blog. I'll be out here waving my arms, possibly all by myself, but I can imagine there's someone out there who's concerned if I blow off exercise or give up my gym membership. I can imagine there's someone rooting for me just like I root for the bloggers I follow.

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